Category: PUNS! (page 11)

Carl Sagan had to help the Jetson's dog with putting bubbles in the soda. He had to Astro fizz assist.

Rich Laguna

A day for puns? It's to reward and not too pun-ish!

Rich Laguna

Did you hear about the guy who took off his clothes to hug a bear? It was a bare-hug!

Rich Laguna

I'm going to celebrate National Nachos Day by watching old reruns of CHiPs!

I don't want to make a big deal of National Doughnut Appreciation Day, so I'll just glaze over it.

Rich Laguna

King Tut and his general, Horemheb, were having lunch but because of the status difference, the general sat on the floor instead of at the table. All of a sudden, they both farted at the exact same time. So even though there was such a separation of status, they still had a toot in common!

• Rich - Hey Nathan, here's a dollar.
• Nathan - What's this for?
• Rich - Just take the dough, Nate!

Rich Laguna

Did you hear about the clairvoyant soccer player who would score a goal every time she would let out a deep, long, audible breath? I guess it was her sigh-kick abilities!

Rich Laguna

The dentist told the receptionist that Jean, the druggy, was on her way in. "You have to tell her that she can't come in stoned anymore. Hopefully 'sober' Jean will come in and she'll understand." said the dentist. "But what if she's stoned?" asked the receptionist. He replied, "Then tell 'high' Jean!"

Rich Laguna

• Knock Knock
• Who's there
• Madame
• Madame who?
• Madame pun's a knock-knock joke today!

For Mischief Night, I might just grab some people's pants and sew the legs up so they are a little too high... In other words, I may hem...

A cat walks into a bank and informs the teller that he'd like to pay a bill. The teller informs the cat that he'll have to wait in the fee line!

Rich Laguna

• What kind of music do animations listen to when driving?
• Car tunes!

Rich Laguna

Theodore the yeast was eating his sugars in a brew tank when Freda the yeast comes by to join him. "Get out of here, Freda. This is no place for you women-folk!", said Theodore. Freda snapped back at him, "You misogynistic pig. You know this isn't just for men, Ted!"

• What do you get when you cross a Yeti and a Pumpkin?
• A Sass-squash!

Rich Laguna

• Why did Robin Hood's faithful companion like cooking potatoes only in hot grease?
• Because he was a friar!

Rich Laguna

• What sausage is made from the lower part of the leg?
• Baloney.

Rich Laguna

A man in the emergency room had peas in their husk sticking out of his orbital socket. When asked what happened, he said he was trying to listen to music with his eye-pod.

Rich Laguna

What do you call a girl who rolls around in the outer casings of nuts? Shelly!

Rich Laguna

As this one girl was eating her Garbanzo Bean salad, two dudes noticed that she kept taking frequent potty breaks. The one dude says to the other, "Man! That salad sure makes that chick pee."

Rich Laguna