Category: PUNS! (page 12)

• Vivian: Maud! You look great. Your Osteoporosis is gone!
• Maud: Oh, Viv. I hoped you'd notice.
• Vivian: Did you think I wouldn't?
• Maud: Well, I had a hunch.

Rich Laguna

In order to meet new friends, Jimmy decided to try camping. After buying a little one person tent and sleeping bag, he went to the campground and set up. Then he went over to another camper and invited him over for a fire. When the guy came over and saw his little tiny camp area, he said, "Nice. A quaint tent."

Rich Laguna

Jokes about menopause are not funny. So, before I even start, I'm going to stop. Period!

Rich Laguna

The lead singer of the band Rush says to the drummer, "Hey Neil. Let's go out for some pasta." The drummer replies, "Ya know, I just want to relax. I'd rather go to the spa Geddy."

Rich Laguna

Did you know that pulling back the hammer on too many guns is bad for your tail bone? The number is different for everyone. I, personally, am good through five guns but I'm in trouble a soon as I cock six.

Rich Laguna

Kay and Fay were both aestheticians. A customer came in looking for some work on her cheeks and forehead. Both of the girls wanted to do the work and they started to argue. The boss came in to settle the argument. He said, "Fay has much more experience so if anyone shall do this work, Fay shall!"

Rich Laguna

What was Telly Savalas' favorite cheese? Co-Jack!

Rich Laguna

Sarah was a very brainy gal who played the bells quite well in the orchestra. One day a rival gang of bell players stormed in demanding a bell-off with the prodigy. She wanted to teach them a lesson and asked the conductor if she could. He looked at them and said, "Sarah, bell 'em!"

Rich Laguna

Did you hear about the pot-head who had arthritis? When he held onto his marijuana cigarette, it hurt his hands. It was his joint pain!

Rich Laguna